Allie X on unleashing her subconscious on ‘Cape God’
Allie X has repeatedly swung the pop pendulum with her hypnotic, avant garde musical presentation. On her second full-length album Cape God, the songstress consolidates her apt for the world of haunting pop, magnetising her off-kilter vocal with tightly engineered melodies and arrangements.
Loosely inspired by the HBO documentary Cape Cod: Heroin, Allie allowed the opiate-focused documentary to serve as the gateway into dissecting the loneliness and unresolved trauma that saturated her youth and adolescence. We chat to Allie X about taking the recording process to Sweden, and inserting her deepest vulnerabilities into the body of work.
Firstly, I think ‘Cape God’ is such an intricately threaded album, with so many stand out moments. In part, it feel like that because ‘Fresh Laundry’ gives it the opportunity to make an impression.
Can you talk about wanting to start a new Allie X era with a song that plays on the idea of turning over a new leaf?
Cool observation. I can say with confidence that I didn’t consciously do that. There was some magic and spirituality involved in this record. The best way I can describe it is that I have done a lot of personal growing and my story was ready to be told. Ready to come out. The album kind of just wrote itself in some ways. Fresh Laundry was a lyric that I had written a couple years before and not known what to do with. On that first day of writing in Stockholm, when Fresh Laundry was written, I had found the lyric in my iphone that morning and knew that it was ready to be said.
The lyrics “you said you’re always on my side/ but what if my side has changed too much?” are such a marker of change.
When you reference change, does it relate to your personal mindset and attitude, or is it related to your environment changing as your career progresses?
It’s more to do with my personal mindset, though that is, of course, influenced by my environment changing and my career progressing. That lyric specifically relates to something my mother said to me when I was in kindergarten and had accidentally hurt a kid at school. She told me “we’re always on your side”. Later in my life, I used to think back to her saying that and it no longer applied because I had changed too much.
What was the momentum like with writing and recording the rest of the album after having ‘Fresh Laundry’ transform into a full track?
Very seamless. The palate of sounds was there, the concept was already somewhat developed in my head. I didn’t have to think too hard about anything. Like I said earlier, everything was ready to be said and myself and James and Oscar (my co writers and producer) had quickly developed the language in which it was to be told.
Is the track list for this album, because it is so conceptually driven, something you laboured over meticulously?
I laboured over it and had very little time to finish it, but it wasn’t too difficult. I always put a lot of thought into how my work is presented.
You’ve spoken about how the album’s concept was derived from the HBO documentary Heroin: Cape Cod.
Can you talk about what struck you about that documentary and how the writing process unfolded from viewing the documentary?
It was abstract how I was inspired by that documentary. It started to occur to me the other day that it’s very important how I speak about the opiate crisis. As it is a great tragedy and not something I have personally experienced. It was characters in the documentary that I related to, not to the opiate crisis/addiction itself. From my experience of being extremely ill in high school and after that as well. I understood some of their pain. Their disconnect from their bodies, their isolation from their families. Their giving up on getting better.
How many times did you watch the documentary after you decided that it would be linked to your album?
2 more times. That’s it. Again, I wasn’t writing about the documentary. It was just a springboard into my own feelings in an abstract way. The Cape Cod scenery was somewhat influential visually as well.
You’ve also mentioned how the documentary was a gateway into your adolescence and working through those feelings you’ve had for a while, and in the past, you’ve also said that “Allie X” allows you to create your own world and identity.
Do you think that the exploration of persona and alter ego had hindered your depth in your craft before now?
No, I think it’s been a shield as I get more comfortable with revealing my most vulnerable sides. There aren’t a lot of rules in art and self-expression (thank God) and for a long time I’ve been making authentic work from behind sunglasses, and veils.
Did it play any role in strengthening how much of your past experience you were willing to dive into for this album?
Probably. I think testing the waters and getting to know my fans for these last 5 years as Allie X has made me feel safe enough to go deeper.
‘Regulars’ is one of the highlights of the album. Can you share how that song was birthed?
That was written on the last day of my initial writing trip to Stockholm. It was James Alan’s idea to do a song called Regulars. I remember at first, we were trying some more synthesizer based sounds but ultimately just gave into the acoustic guitar being the driving instrument. As soon as we did that, the production was magic. The high notes in the chorus were me joking and then the guys loving it, so I laid it down. Glad I did that…
That song is really interesting also when trying to visualise it from your standpoint as a musician who is based in LA.
Does that song have anything to do with adapting to that environment?
I wasn’t thinking much about LA. Mostly just thinking about how I’ve felt like an outsider my whole life. And what it means to be an outsider. The fantasy of trying to integrate back into society…. I didn’t intentionally make it sound like anything really, it just came out and it still gives me chills. My personal favorite on the album I think.
Does LA feel homogenous to you?
Kind of, yes. But I think that’s my ignorance and the pop industry that I’m surrounded by.
What were yours and Oscar’s processes/discussions like when piecing together the vocals and sonic arrangements?
We knew that we wanted the vocals to be the driving force to the point where we created pads with vocals multiple times and kept the arrangements as minimal as possible. We were very conscious of not over processing vocals and keeping them feeling very intimate.
This album cycle, you’ve been very in tune with what fans and critics are saying.
How has that been, considering this is the closest you’ve ever attached your music to your youth and adolescence?
It’s been weird and satisfying and hurtful and wonderful haha. I really shouldn’t read the reviews, but I’ve never been so widely reviewed so I can’t help it. It’s been called very honest work and it is, so that means a lot to me.
The underlying theme in several of these songs is isolation in its many forms and trying to sedate ourselves from it. I perceived songs like ‘Madame X’, ‘June Gloom’ and ‘Super Duper Party People’ to all be taking on very diverging ends on the continuum.
Yes, that’s an astute observation. Again, not super intentional. Just my personal experience and how I’ve dealt with isolation and sadness and anger in various ways.
Did the entire album, or only sections of it feel like a discussion of that as you made it? Does it feel different in hindsight?
It’s not really a discussion of sedation. That’s only a small part of it. This album to me (and it can mean whatever people want it to mean to them) is the story of my younger self being told to the world. She needed to be given a voice.
‘Love Me Wrong’ has a key moment after the halfway mark where it turns into a more abrasive, and angered vocal. It’s one of the very small glimpses where we see you push your voice like that.
Can you talk about unlocking that area of your voice, and was that a natural, organic move made when you recorded in the studio?
A lot of the album I restrain my full voice for the sake of telling the story in an intimate and matter of fact, as opposed to a dramatic overly emotional way. Myself and Oscar both thought this was important. Love Me Wrong, however needed the release to illustrate the fury and pain hidden under the simple 4 chord progression that sounds like a lullaby. When I do these songs live, they’ll be quite a bit of drama as well. I can only restrain myself so much.
Do you have any standouts moment from making this album that were either really enjoyable, or solidified your belief in what you were making?
Ya, a bunch. So many happy moments in the studio in Stockholm. Lots of dancing. Juilius, the studio manager recording the vocals on Super Duper Party People and influencing me to start singing it as “Supa- Dupa” is a real highlight for me.